Many of our escapes are involuntary: addiction and dissociating from painful feelings are two examples. Anyone who has worked with a strong addiction—compulsive eating, compulsive sex, abuse of substances, explosive anger, or any other behavior that’s out of control—knows that when the urge comes on – it’s irresistible. The seduction is too strong. So the answer is to train again and again in less highly charged situations in which the urge is present but not so overwhelming. By training with everyday irritations, we develop the knack of refraining when the going gets tough. Another effective way to re-train your brain to better resist urges is to apply mindfulness to one of your mundane daily routines. For example, each time you are about to open a door (or answer a text or email), consciously pause for 3 seconds (taking 3 breaths) before you complete the action. It takes patience and an understanding of how we’re hurting ourselves not to continue taking the same old escape route of speaking or acting out. Be patient and kind with yourself while learning this new approach, and above all, don’t give up.